Wednesday, August 26, 2009

the only instance in which elijah wood could be useful


There was but one circumstance that would keep Green Street Hooligans Part Trois from a viewing and simultaneous chronicling, to be plastered in columns and rows on PmP's ashy downtown walls. And because Obama isn't near the Hammer he is White Sox fan, lil' ol' modest ol' me, out here just meekly West coastin', couldn't seem to negotiate himself a stream even cable-porn-grainily broadcasting the tie. So, minus the one executive quip above, why a post today not coursed with acidity or vitirol at having missed the bedlam that transpired?

Because anytime an event can birth a picture so obscenely righteous it makes both the Soccernet front page AND, more crucially, the desktop of your current scribe? Call it reactionary or contrarian, but with America's resident Most Excellent Rivalry basically devolving depressingly down to the billionare evil scientist battling the grotesque monster he's created, where neutrally neither's fun to pull for and a Los Angelino has to seriously -- seriously -- begin to question the meaning of life upon noticing he'd actually rather have the Yankees win, the glory below's to red-blooded RIVALRY, my friends.




...BUHBOWLS, KID!!! YOU N AYE 'R GONA BOWSUM BUHBOOOWLS!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

the green street ultimatum


It's the gash that keeps on gushing, so it seems. Last Wednesday -- despite all the this one matters only for them and not us placebos given -- managed to hurt, well...like a motherfucker, truthfully. It's Mexico, after all. So deep had the wounds felt, they managed to suffocate an altogether joyous announcement, and perhaps too what would have been a modest sedative. And so, in searching amidst all the rubble and remains and cups of urine thrown, what hath been recouped? Why, the League Cup's 2nd round draw, of all things.


1 West Bromwich Albion v Rotherham United
2 Norwich City v Sunderland
3 Tranmere Rovers v Bolton Wanderers
4 Queens Park Rangers v Accrington Stanley
5 Bristol City v Carlisle United
6 Leyton Orient v Stoke City
7 Port Vale v Sheffield Wednesday
8 Hull City v Southend United
9 Leeds United v Watford
10 Cardiff City v Bristol Rovers
11 Portsmouth v Hereford United
12 Crystal Palace v Manchester City
13 Wolverhampton Wanderers v Swindon Town
14 Gillingham v Blackburn Rovers
15 Blackpool v Wigan Athletic
16 Southampton v Birmingham City
17 Preston North End v Leicester City
18 Newcastle United v Huddersfield Town
19 West Ham United v Millwall
20 Hartlepool United v Burnley
21 Nottingham Forest v Middlesbrough
22 Reading v Barnsley
23 Swansea City v Scunthorpe United
24 Doncaster Rovers v Tottenham Hotspur
25 Peterborough United v Ipswich Town


Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. The proprietor of this fix deserves a medal or a key to a city or something. The coals here are obviously stoked, enough so for one to expect a chronicling of some sort, if the broadcasting/streaming gods do so oblige. Now damnit, where the hell's Frodo when you need him?