Sunday, June 28, 2009

the mouse who shan't be modest

I won't say how many years I'd been provided or what substance I had been nepotistically coaxed into downing, but I can say that I sat intently through the whole happenstance, hoping it to reveal itself to be unfathomably true, too many damn parallels to refute. And yeah, Dorothy putting her hand to the Tin Man's chest whilst a heartbeat closes out Dark Side is a skosh bizarre, but I can point to another time years later where the apophenia was waaay more NO FUCKIN' WAY, DUDE and didn't involve going through the same album's motions thrice.

Heed the scene: twenty, maybe twenty-five heads in one deceptively-rustic living room/den, in a house where no lie, not-a-one of the damn pictures on the wall was level - like the '94 quake hit and my buddy and his folks just said, "...fuck it, crooked's the new straight!" - everyone zoned out on Guru's rhymes from Moment Of Truth eerily syncing up with a discussion between Spongebob and Squidward (not my choice), of which I like to imagine Guru and Premier really did painstakingly work their shit out to a yet-to-be-ruminated episode of a still-being-ruminated cartoon reprised said random night so many years later.

Now, I've watched the Sounders multiple times this year, their game today included (love me that there intranet and its streemin'!), and, thanks to Max Bretos, they're often ingested on mute, an open invite for musical supplementation and thus synchronicity conspiracies abound. Call it OCD, or just my retaining anally, but as they're from Seattle, for me it only makes sense that the strains best dovetailing their play come from there, too. A first year club, competing with the M's and the 'Hawks for local recognition, an underground success despite their genre-bending instrumentation, not cosmopolitan nor even realized quite yet but sowin' them seeds that have themselves a growin' disposition? I'm not apologizing for these forays into hickoried diction, cause if you've heard the rather pertinently titled The Lonesome Crowded West, (think Vancouver & Portland) and then heard it again with the Sounders imbricating, you'd understand why it's not really under my power to curb it. Cue the phenomena:

Freddie Ljungberg's the man with teeth like God's shoeshine
he sparkles, shimmers, shines

Kasey Keller

doin' the cockroach, yeah!
doin' the cockroach, yeah!
oh yeeeeeeeah year, twenty years, forty years, fifty years!
doin' the cockroach, yeah!

Fredy Montero

I'm drowning upside down, my feet afloat like Christ's
...he moves just like Crisco disco

S├ębastien Le Toux

...and I am doing the best that I can
all the eunuchs, they were standing in rows, singing
"please stud us out just as fast as you can"

Sigi Schmid

Well, Cowboy Dan's a major player in the cowboy scene
he goes to the reservation, drinks and gets mean...
...and he hops in his pickup, puts the pedal to the floor, and says
"I got mine, but I want more"

Osvaldo Alonso

...I sold my atlas by the freight stairs, I do lines and I crossed roads
I crossed the lines of all the great state roads

Nate Jaqua

on my way to I don't know... this place that I call home
my brain's the cliff, my heart's the bitter buffalo

Drew Carey

...the apostles, they're sitting in swings, saying
"I'd sell off my savior for a set of new rings
and some sandals with the style of straps that cling best to the era"


  1. Brilliant post J - but which MLS team fits the bill for Moon & Antartica? Perhaps my beloved Wizards?

    I think Claudio Lopez fits the bill for "I Came a a rat", while the goaltending situation is certainly comparable to Paper Thin Walls...

  2. i'm not sure any MLS team is of equal density or complexity or, really, overall quality as that album. lonesome's rawness is where the connection is, for me, so maybe a future incarnation of the Sounders, otherwise it'd have to be from across the pond (that's for another day, though).